How to ensure less stress and more joy this holiday season
Ahhhh the holiday season is upon us. When you think of family gatherings, do any of the following come to mind?
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Peace, Love, Joy, Gratitude
Uncle John throwing a handful of cranberry sauce at Aunt Mae…
The very last ‘must have’ gift being sold out
The expectation you and your spouse will attend 4 different holiday gatherings on one day
Maybe you LOVE the holidays and your family gatherings are sources of strength, togetherness, and closeness. Or maybe you are on the other side of the equation and the impending holidays leave you feeling, stressed, drained, or lonely. From differing opinions to varying lifestyles, navigating relationships during the holidays may be a balancing act. Here are some tips to hopefully help you navigate some common pitfalls.
Set Realistic Expectations
While the holidays are often portrayed as a time of perfect harmony and bliss, the reality is no family is without its quirks and imperfections. Setting realistic expectations can help you approach family gatherings with a sense of acceptance and resilience.
If you know that your uncle is prone to drinking too much and getting belligerent, you could choose to limit alcohol or set a clear time for the event to be over. If you are attending at someone else’s home, arrange a plan in advance for an early exit if things go off the rails.
Don't Let the Perfect Get in the Way of the Good
The turkey is burned? Aunt Martha is over an hour late? It’s my first time hosting? All of these may throw a wrench into your day. How you plan for and react to mishaps, however, is within your control. Understand not everything will go according to plan, and that is perfectly okay. Remember why you come together for the holidays to begin with. Direct your focus to moments of connection and joy rather than getting caught up in the pursuit of an idealized holiday experience.
Create New Traditions
If past family gatherings have been a source of tension, consider introducing new traditions to bring fresh and positive energy to the holidays. This could be anything from organizing a fun and inclusive game night to volunteering for a charitable cause. Creating new traditions allows you to change some things about the past and offer new ways to connect that may feel better or be less stressful.
Establish Boundaries
The holiday season can be a whirlwind of activities, obligations, and social engagements. It is essential to establish and communicate your boundaries to ensure a balance that leaves you feeling both connected and joyful. Whether it's setting limits on the number of events you attend or designating some downtime for self-care, maintaining a healthy balance will contribute to a more enjoyable and sustainable holiday experience.
Say No to Things That Do Not Add Value
The holidays can feel very stressful with many to-dos, parties, events, and expectations as long as your arm. You may feel overwhelmed by the volume of things you must plan for. It is OK to pare back or to not do something - especially if it is tied to a tradition that no longer feels like a good fit for you. Maybe you decide to not host this year or to set a smaller budget for gift-giving. You dislike turkey, so maybe you will make lasagna this year. Just be sure to communicate your expectations/new plans with the people it will impact in advance.
Practice Gratitude
While you are engaged in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, remind yourself to take a moment and reflect on the things that truly bring you joy. What is it about this time of year you love? How can you remain in gratitude for those things? Expressing gratitude for the love and connections within your family can shift the focus from challenges to abundance. Whether through a heartfelt conversation, a thoughtful gesture, or a simple note of appreciation, acknowledging the good can foster a sense of closeness.
Wishing you and yours a holiday season that is a good fit for you, and allows you to feel the magic, joy, and peace of the season.
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