As a leadership development coach, I often see people staying in untenable situations when moving on may serve them better. While determination, tenacity, and follow-through are valuable traits, knowing when to throw in the towel is of equal, if not greater importance. It's about recognizing when our current situation is no longer conducive to our growth or happiness. Sounds easy, right?
Wellllll…..as anyone who has struggled with the decision to leave a job knows, it can be quite difficult. Even when we are miserable and we know deep down we should make the shift, it is still hard to make the decision and take action. Why is that?
Let’s take a look at why we struggle with leaving and how we can use a cognitive behavior strategy (reframing) to help us make better decisions.
🎱Why We Struggle With the Decision to Change 🎱
Making a change is inherently difficult, largely because it involves venturing into the unknown and stepping outside our comfort zones. Human beings are designed to be creatures of habit; our brains are wired to seek stability and predictability. This neurological preference for routine helps conserve mental energy, thus making change feel disproportionately challenging and stressful. Consequently, even when we are aware change is likely to bring substantial benefits, the immediate discomfort and uncertainty can be daunting enough to keep us in less-than-ideal circumstances.
🧠The Limbic System 🧠
A deeper look into the brain's functioning reveals the "old brain" also known as the limbic system, which is responsible for emotional processing, is hard-wired to assess threats. Historically, this was crucial for survival, allowing our ancestors to quickly react to physical dangers. In modern contexts, however, this part of the brain often perceives change — even beneficial or non-life-threatening change — as a potential threat. In short, our old brain does not easily differentiate the stress from running for your life to the stressor of relocating for your dream job.
The limbic system, announcing a potential threat, may trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response, which physiologically prepares us to deal with a threat but psychologically causes anxiety and resistance to change.
📌The Status Quo Bias 📌
The psychological phenomenon known as the status quo bias explains our tendency to prefer things to remain the same, or for changes to align closely with our current state. This bias is reinforced by fears of loss and failure, which often seem more immediate and vivid than the prospective benefits of change. The anxiety about potential negative outcomes can overshadow our ability to envision a brighter future, leading to procrastination or complete aversion to taking necessary actions. Thus, overcoming the inertia accompanying the status quo requires significant mental effort, clarity of purpose, and sometimes, external support to navigate the emotional complexities of making a change.
So part of determining when to leave is partially overcoming our negative pre-disposition to change, and part is understanding the true nature of your current situation. So knowing that, what are some things to consider when deciding whether or not to quit?
When considering leaving a job, the decision often boils down to a balance between risk and reward. Understanding these aspects can help determine whether the potential benefits of a new opportunity outweigh the uncertainties associated with making a change. When considering rewards and risk there are several ideas you may want to consider. See below for some questions to ask yourself:
🎉Reward: The Potential Benefits of Leaving a Job 🎉
Career Advancement: One of the primary reasons people leave a job is for better career prospects. This could mean a better position, more responsibilities, a chance to gain new skills, or working in an industry more aligned with one’s interests. ❓Will a new job create better career pathways for you?
Increased Salary and Benefits: Often, changing jobs is a chance to significantly increase your salary. Benefits packages can also vary widely between employers, and a new company may offer better health care, retirement benefits, or other perks like flexible working conditions. ❓Will a new organization or new role mean you have more money to do the things that are important to you?
Improved Work-Life Harmony: A new job might offer a better balance between personal life and work, such as more flexible hours, remote work options, or a shorter commute, which can greatly improve quality of life. ❓Would taking a step back provide you the opportunity to have better work/life harmony?
Improved Mental Health: Sometimes people leave a role or organization to take a job with less money or less prestige. Well-meaning friends and family may discourage this move. Remember, however, if the new job is less stressful, provides greater opportunities to contribute, or is in better alignment with your values, it can still be the right decision for you. ❓Would taking a step back provide you with greater peace, contentment, or happiness?
Alignment with Personal Values and Goals: Sometimes, a job change is necessary to better align one's work with personal values or long-term career objectives, which can lead to greater job satisfaction and personal fulfillment. ❓Is your job in alignment with your beliefs and values?
💥Risk: The Potential Costs of Leaving a Job 💥
Financial Instability: The most immediate risk is often financial. Leaving a job without another lined up can lead to a period without income. Even with a new job secured, there might be gaps or changes in compensation, benefits, or unforeseen costs such as relocation expenses.
Career Uncertainty: There is always a risk that the new role might not meet expectations or that it might not be as good a fit as anticipated. This may impact long-term career goals and job satisfaction.
Social and Professional Networks: Leaving a job also means leaving behind a network of colleagues who might have become important professional contacts or even friends. Rebuilding similar relationships can take time and effort in a new environment.
Loss of Job Security: Depending on the industry and the job market, a new role might not offer the same security as the current position. This can be particularly concerning in volatile sectors or economic climates.
⚖️How to Balance Risk and Reward ⚖️
While leaving a job may be scary, the impact of staying when you are unfulfilled or in a toxic workplace is much greater to your overall health and well-being. Below are some ideas for how to balance risks and rewards.
Do Your Research: Investigate the new company and role thoroughly. Understanding the new environment, expectations, and growth opportunities can help mitigate career uncertainty.
Financial Planning: Ensure financial stability by saving enough to cover potential gaps between jobs or moving costs. Sometimes, securing the next position before leaving the current job can minimize financial risks.
Focus on the Long-term: Consider how this move fits into your long-term goals. Sometimes, short-term risk can lead to long-term gains in career trajectory and satisfaction.
Seek Advice: Consulting with mentors, peers, or career advisors can provide insights and help weigh the risks and rewards from an informed perspective.
☢️Signs That Your Current Job Is No Longer Serving You ☢️
Values Misalignment: Of all the indicators, this is potentially the most important. If your core values are consistently at odds with the environment or the people around you, it will lead to ongoing frustration and dissatisfaction.
Lack of Growth: If you find yourself not learning anything new or if you feel your skills are not utilized or developed, it may be time to consider other opportunities. A promotion or transfer to a new team may be the right fit or you may need to consider shifting to a new organization altogether.
Persistent Unhappiness, Stress, And Anxiety: When your day-to-day experience at work consistently drains your happiness or mental health, it is an alert that something needs to change in the near future.
Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling constantly tired from the emotional and physical drain of being in an unsupportive or toxic environment is cause for concern. If you do not see the likelihood of these circumstances changing, it is time to consider alternatives.
Opportunities for Advancement Are Blocked: If there are no clear or achievable paths for progression or if you feel overlooked for promotions or projects despite your efforts, it may be time to leave.
Even with the best information and the best planning, sometimes things do not work out as anticipated. That is OK. Remember that you can make another change if needed. The focus of shifting jobs is not necessarily on finding the PERFECT job but on finding ways to continue to build your skillset and grow. Sometimes a step back (financially or of job title or role) may also be the right choice for you. By carefully evaluating these factors, you can make a more informed decision about whether the potential rewards of a new job outweigh the risks.
If you enjoyed this article, connect with me at hopedugan.com or follow me on LinkedIn.
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