It was Friday at 4:00 PM before a long holiday weekend when one of my best employees asked if she could chat. I'll admit, my first thought was, REALLY! 4PM on a Friday???😡 But instead of complaining, I sighed and invited her into my office. Little did I know, I was about to face a situation that would change my leadership perspective.
Carolyn sat across from me, looking unusually serious. She reached into her bag and handed me a piece of paper. I glanced down and saw it was a transfer form. For a moment, I thought it was a joke or I had misunderstood.
When I looked up, her sad eyes told me otherwise. She softly said that she felt it was time to move on. I was shocked! What was going on? I asked her why she wanted to leave, and she responded that this request could not have come as a surprise to me. (And I wanted to scream YES. THIS HAS COME AS A HUGE SURPRISE TO ME!😱 Ehem…)
I took a deep breath, calmed myself, and asked her to explain. 🧘♀️
Carolyn said she felt undervalued and overlooked in her current role. She wanted to transfer to a different team where she would have more opportunities to grow and feel like a valued part of the team. I was stunned. How could she not feel appreciated? I thought she knew how much I valued her as a team lead. I had consistently given her good performance reviews and had fought to get her the promotion she currently held. She had never complained. Where had I gone wrong?🤷♀️
It became clear that despite my efforts, I had missed the mark on making her feel truly valued and heard. This conversation was a wake-up call.🚨 It highlighted the importance of regular, open communication and an understanding of what each member of my team required to be at their best. I realized I had to do more than just give positive reviews and fight for promotions; I needed to ensure my team felt seen and heard, and understood how their role was tied to the overarching vision of the company.
After talking with several leaders I admired, I learned about a golden opportunity to ensure our best and brightest are excited to continue to come to work: The Stay Interview. It costs nothing, takes about 15-30 minutes, and is worth its weight in gold. Read on to learn more.
What’s a Stay Interview?
A stay interview is a casual, yet insightful conversation between you and your star employees. Unlike exit interviews, which happen when someone is already out the door, stay interviews are proactive. They help you uncover what your team loves about their job, what might be causing them stress, and what changes could be made to keep them motivated and happy. This is also an informal opportunity to tell them just how much you value them as a person and for their contributions. Think of it as a heart-to-heart chat with your top talent to understand what keeps them ticking and how you can make their work life even better.
Trust me, it's a game-changer.💡
Why Hold a Stay Interviews?
💪Boost Retention💪 Let’s face it, losing top talent is a huge blow - not only to the lost institutional knowledge and dollars of investment in that person but also to team morale and productivity. Stay interviews help you understand what makes your best employees stay and what might push them to leave. With this intel, you can make adjustments to keep them on board.
📊Increase Engagement📊 When employees feel heard and valued, their engagement skyrockets. These conversations show you are invested in their future, making them more likely to invest their energy and creativity in their work with YOUR team.
🚀Strengthen Relationships 🚀Regularly sitting down with your team builds trust and open communication. It is a chance to connect on a deeper level and demonstrate your genuine interest in them.
🌱Identify Growth Opportunities🌱 Stay interviews may reveal untapped potential and aspirations within your team. You might discover a budding leader or a hidden talent to nurture and develop.
🎉Create a Positive Work Environment🎉 When you actively seek feedback and act on it, you create a culture where continuous improvement and employee satisfaction are the norms. This positivity is infectious, leading to a happier, more productive workplace.
Tips for Conducting Stay Interviews
Now, let's get into some practical tips to make your stay interviews as effective as possible:
Be Genuine and Approachable: Create a relaxed atmosphere where your employee feels comfortable sharing openly. This is not a formal review; it is a friendly chat. Do not provide flattery; these conversations must be authentic. People are smart - they will see through you if you are not genuine.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage detailed responses by asking questions like, What do you enjoy most about your job? And What changes would enhance your work experience?
Listen More Than You Talk: This is your chance to really hear your employees. Take notes, ask follow-up questions, and show you are genuinely interested in their feedback.
Act on the Feedback: Follow through on the insights you gain. If an employee suggests a feasible change, make it happen. This demonstrates you value their input and are committed to improving their work environment.
Follow Up Regularly: Stay interviews are not a one-and-done deal. Make them a regular part of your leadership practice.
Some leaders might push back, saying they do not have time for stay interviews or they already meet with their team regularly. But let me tell you, that is a mistake. As leaders, we spend a huge amount of time managing emotions and the people we work with. Often, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, and our highly valued employees might not get the attention they deserve. Yes, it takes time, but it is an investment in your most valuable employees. It ensures you won't find yourself at 4 PM on a Friday, meeting with your own ‘Carolyn,’ wondering how you will be able to complete the current project without her. 💖
Coaching Tip: It is Never Too Late
Let’s say you have a valued employee who does come to your office with a resignation letter. Is it too late to change their mind? Absolutely not. Sometimes things slip through the cracks and you may end up with a valued employee bringing you a resignation letter. It may be uncomfortable, but if they are important to you, have the conversation.
One of the leaders I coach recently faced this exact situation. She was completely blindsided when her staff member, Jasmine, asked her to sign her transfer request. She stopped what she was doing, had a very clear conversation, and asked the employee to take the evening to reconsider. The employee returned the next day and tore up the transfer letter. Never underestimate the power of relationships and having uncomfortable conversations.
Coaching Tip: Isn’t This Just Employee Blackmail?
Nope. If you routinely engage in open conversations with your employees, their decision to move on will never come as a complete surprise. If you have an employee who uses a resignation or transfer request in an attempt to gain leverage, you have options.
First, assess their value to you and the team. It is possible to discuss how you can help meet their needs if they are critical to your organization. Alternatively, if this behavior seems like a pattern that disrupts the team or a ploy to leverage your good nature, you can decide to honor their request to leave. Regular, transparent communication prevents surprises and helps you manage these situations more effectively.
Coaching Moment: Some Questions to Get You Started
If Stay Interviews are not something you already do, it may feel weird the first few times. Below are a few questions to get you started. Feel free to add your own. Remember, the most important thing to do during this meeting is to listen!
How are you?
This question should come from a genuine place of how this employee is feeling at the moment. This question alone may unlock valuable insights and lead to productive conversation.
How may I help?
To me, this is one of the most valuable and underrated questions you can ask almost anyone. In terms of your team, this simple question may unlock the doors of communication. It also allows you to let employees know what you are able to do for them and what you are not. For example, I cannot offer you a raise until next year, but I can offer you a project stipend.
What do you enjoy most about your current role?
This question helps you understand what aspects of their job keep them engaged and motivated. Knowing this can help you ensure they keep the parts of their job they love and are good at.
What do you find most challenging or frustrating in your role?
Identifying pain points or obstacles can help you address issues that may be hindering their performance or job satisfaction. You now have the opportunity to consider shifting some job responsibilities.
How do you feel about the level of support and resources you receive?
Be prepared for a variety of responses. This question assesses whether employees feel they have the necessary tools, training, and support to succeed in their role. Luckily, this question potentially will yield concrete, actionable next steps.
What are your career goals, and how may I help you achieve them?
Understanding their aspirations allows you to provide opportunities for growth and development, which can increase job satisfaction and retention.
Is there anything you would like to see changed or improved?
This open-ended question invites employees to share ideas for enhancing the work environment, which can lead to actionable insights for improving overall workplace culture.
Is there anything else you would like me to know?
This is another invaluable question to ask at the end of every employee conversation. If they provide any more details, ask it again, and potentially again. Many people leave the most important pieces of information to the end. By asking this question at least once you provide the opportunity for them to add anything they were feeling uncomfortable about or they forgot.
Have you conducted stay interviews? What was the outcome? Please leave your comments below or on LinkedIn.
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